My SIL has an exercise ball, and said she really likes it — it works your core, abs, etc. I also read somewhere that someone uses it as a chair at the computer — she said it more or less forces her to sit upright, unconsciously working her abs. That sounded pretty cool. So, I almost bought one a couple of times, but it seemed like I would think about it, and/or see the reduced/clearance exercise balls when I was a little low on funds, and didn’t feel like I could justify the expense. Then I got the brilliant idea to post an “in search of” on my cheapcycle and freecycle networks. I figured that there were a lot of people who probably had bought a ball with the great intentions of using it… and then letting it gather dust within a few weeks or certainly months. I was right. Within 24 hours, I got two offers for free exercise balls! One was a little distance away, but the other was just down the road. So I got it, blew it up… and my kids have been playing with it for hours!

I did manage to steal it away from them, eventually, though. I used the excuse that they were fighting over it to confiscate it. It’s great! I don’t know for sure that I’m working my core muscles — I probably am, but don’t think I’ll feel it until the morning. One reason I got it, though, is that I spend a lot of time at the computer — reading or writing blogs, looking at the news (no TV), doing research, and also typing up very old, out-of-print books. My back has been hurting a bit lately — probably mostly sitting poorly (particularly hunched over), and also lying in an awkward position watching a DVD with my husband. And this seems to help. It probably strengthens my back, in addition to working my abs. My kids are unwittingly helping with that — the younger one particularly likes to climb up on it while I’m sitting on it, which makes me have to shift a tiny bit to keep my balance.

Even if it weren’t free, I’d still be glad I got it. I don’t know that I would have spent full price on it, but I am glad I have it. Particularly since it’s free.

… and I’m not talking about the country. I’m saying I ran. I actually ran. Because I wanted to. I actually wanted to run. How weird is that??

In trying to get my husband to exercise (because I think it will help him with his stress levels and fatigue and sleeping poorly), I decided to suggest a family walk this morning. Even before going, I had pictures in my mind of me breaking out into a run, and it felt good. So, we head out — and I had specifically suggested a brisk walk to my husband — he’s usually the one wanting to go fast while dragging me along — but this time, I broke out into a jog, and my husband dragged along behind. My kids started crying at seeing mommy running away from them… well, actually, the older one was a little perturbed but tried to keep up, while my younger son  just eventually collapsed into a heap where he was. So I ran back to them. I didn’t run much that particular time because my husband was dragging and my kids got upset. But it felt good. I also couldn’t run very far because I’m out of shape. But it still felt good to run.

So good, in fact, that this afternoon, I went for another run. It’s just down the street and back — I had intended to see how far it was by driving down the road and back — it’s probably at most half a mile each way. No, I wasn’t able to run the entire way. But I might build up to it! I ran until I was tired of running, then walked until I was tired of walking, then ran some more. I might go again tomorrow. So, yeah, I’m liking this diet!

[I weighed myself this morning, but hadn't lost any more. We'll see tomorrow what this running did for me. ]

We got the P90X set in last week, and my husband and I did the first video in the “lean” program on Friday. We were going to start the program full-bore then, but since the program is basically set up for “day 1″ to be Monday, with the “rest” day on Sunday, we decided to officially start on Monday. I was tired and sore, but decided to see if I could do the second video on Saturday.  Because of what the program calls “muscle confusion,” I figured that the second video would work out different muscles from what the first video did; but that I would get some good stretches of those same muscles anyway (since it was the cardio video — I figured it would be full-body work, with jumping jacks, running in place, etc.). I felt better after that video, because of the great stretches.

So, on Monday, we did start the program. My husband has complained about soreness, but I haven’t really had that much. I wonder if I should be pushing myself harder, but when I’m doing it, I push until I can’t push any more.

One thing that makes a big difference is that I haven’t been working with weights or bands. They weren’t an integral part of the program until yesterday. (By that, I mean, that yesterday’s workout — the shoulders and arms — required weights on almost every exercise, as opposed to the core and cardio workouts which only had a few with weights.) I’ve done a few different workout videos that had weights as options, with the instructors saying that form is more important than weights, and you can do your own resistance by concentrating and going up and/or down slowly.

Yesterday, I watched the video through once, and then my husband and I did it. Because I’m not that much into working out with weights, nor working my arms, I was afraid that I couldn’t even get through the workout (it’s an hour, after all!), if I used any weights. I was especially afraid of the “chair dips”, and really was worried that my arms would be too sore to do those if I had used weights. My goal for that video was just to make it through. Which I did, with ease. Oh, I could feel it in my arms, but I didn’t struggle. So next video, I’m definitely going to be adding some weights.

My husband got himself some bands and me some weights (1.5 & 5 lb) at Walmart yesterday, so we’ll see how that goes. I’m a little afraid of adding the weights, but it’s just ridiculous not to. I want to make it through the workout, and don’t know how much weight will be too much on the workouts. If it were up to me, I’d just use soup cans or something for the weights, but my husband rolls his eyes at that. So we’ll see how it goes!

Yoga video is today! I’ve never done yoga, and don’t like the Eastern mysticism that is its roots, but I’m looking at it as some good stretches, and I know the positions are difficult to hold and get into, which will be good for me. I’m pretty limber anyway, but my husband hates to stretch; so this will be extra-good for him. When we did the P90X pre-test, I was able to reach 5 inches past my foot, while he could only reach 6 inches short of his foot. Let’s just say, he’s looking forward to the results, but not to the process.

So, yesterday I did my first P90X workout — the Core Synergistics one. Of course I didn’t do it right along with them — not only were the moves for the most part completely unfamiliar, but I’m out of shape, and couldn’t physically keep up with them. And that’s okay. I did what I could do. I felt pretty good after the workout, but as the evening wore on, I felt a little more and more sore. This morning when I woke up, I was *really* sore. I didn’t even know I had muscles there! It’s the glutes, but this is a deep soreness — like I’ve never worked these muscles before in my life. Oh, yeah, this program is good!

Ok, so I’ve taken a break from losing weight. Yeah, right — totally and completely fell off the wagon — stopped watching what I ate, stopped exercising, stopped everything, and gained my weight back. But that’s gonna change.

My husband and I ordered the P90X system (got it off of eBay). We did the preliminary stuff yesterday (weighed, measured, did the “pre-fit” test which we both barely passed, etc.). The “pre-fit test” didn’t seem to be that difficult, on paper anyway, but I gotta tell you, I was sore from that! And I was afraid that today was gonna be even worse.

There are 3 different ways you can do the P90X program — original, doubles, and lean. I’m doing the third, because I want to lose the chub, and don’t really care about bulking up and getting my muscles big. I bet that a lot of women go this way! My husband is probably going to do the original series, which has a lot of workouts of the different major muscle groups.

The first workout was “core synergistics” and it was pretty cool. I wasn’t able to do everything (a couple of the moves were rather tricky, and I’m just not able to do push-ups that well, but I bet that I did about half of what the people on the video did, which is better than what I had expected. I’m a little worried that my form wasn’t what it should have been, but I did my best. Right now, I’m tired, but I still feel more sore from what I did yesterday than from what I did about an hour ago.

The pre-fit test I did yesterday included 2 minutes of jumping jacks; and a move where it looks like you’re sitting in a chair against the wall, except there isn’t a chair — you just have to sit there as long as you can; and also an attempt [pathetic, feeble attempt] on my part to do a chin-up or a pull-up. I could feel my muscles trying to work, but my husband said I didn’t move at all. But my muscles are *sore* from trying.

Anyway, it’s a cool workout, and I worked up a sweat and could feel the burn; but it wasn’t so difficult that I felt like I just had to give up and do nothing. Seeing the video people’s perfect form gives me something to shoot for… not to mention their ability to hold certain yoga positions when I can barely get into them.

….but not as good as I hoped. I did gain back 1 pound from my total weight loss. So I’m typing this short post and then going to work out. I have written down my calories today–and I’ve been hungry so I must have been eating more than I thought I did last week. I can’t find my DVD that I want to do, so I’m going to hop on the treadmill w/a movie and see how far I get. It’s a little disheartening because I can only do about 10-15 minutes on the ‘mill, while I know I can walk even a few miles at a pop outside. I think it’s the incline or the drag of the treadmill. I got it at a yard sale, so I’m not sure if it’s designed to be tough, or it needs to be lubed or something. Either way, it works and it cost $20, so it’s no big deal either way. I just figure it’s resistance training and walking in one!

I feel like I’m melted and poured into them, but I can actually put them on and button them, which two weeks ago, I couldn’t! Today is my weekly weigh-in day, but I forgot to weigh myself before I ate breakfast, so I decided just to skip it. I haven’t been exercising this whole past week, so probably just lost one pound anyway. Maybe I’ll remember in time tomorrow. The good news is that yesterday I didn’t eat too much at lunch, because (unfortunately) my husband had a fever so the whole fam stayed home. (Didn’t want to “share the love”!) I didn’t count calories yesterday, per se, because I ate a lot of tidbits instead of real meals. But I kept sort of mental track of it, and think I stayed about 1500. Even if it was as much as 1800, I’d still be a lot less than my former typical 2300 calories per day. So we’re all good! (And my husband is feeling better today, after sleeping some 13 hours last night.)

I’m slacking up a little this week. I guess I’m blaming my husband’s 3-day weekend getting me off kilter. I didn’t exercise all weekend; but I did do a video on Monday. Then I didn’t do one yesterday and haven’t done one today (but there’s still time). I pigged out on Sunday (see my daily diet), but have been keeping it in line since then. Yesterday I went over 1300 calories (but still under 1800, so that’s the bright side), and today I’ve eaten less for breakfast and lunch, to save calories for supper. I’m a little hungry but not too bad. I need to exercise, though. I just get in a rut, though, you know? I like to do things at a specific time, and if I get off schedule, then I don’t go back and do what I missed. Now I feel like sitting at the computer and checking email, surfing the net and looking at blogs. But I ought to exercise. (Actually, I ought to clean my kitchen and go through all the mail that I’ve put aside until later.) So I guess I’ll do that–one or the other. I’m going to get off the computer very soon.

I must have “body dysmorphic disorder”–you know, when you see yourself differently from how you actually are. I’m just kidding of course. I don’t like the terminology of mental illness–it seems so defeatest–”the devil made me do it” and “I can’t help it”-ism.

The truth is, I don’t appear to myself the way I really am–and I doubt that most people really have an honest self-image of themselves. For most people diagnosed with this “disorder” they feel fat or think they look fat when they really are quite thin. Some people think their hips are too big; and no matter how much weight they lose, their hips are still out-of-proportion (in their mental view of beauty) to their body size. I’m the other way–I’m bigger than I feel. Weighing myself and taking my measurements was a real eye-opener to what I really must look like–you know, when I’m not dressed up and looking at myself in the mirror, sucking in my tummy, etc. If I saw someone of my height, weight, and body measurements walking down the street or on TV, I’d probably say to myself, “Boy, she needs to lose weight!” But I can look at myself in the mirror and think, “Yeah, I need to shed a few pounds.” And then eat three pieces of pizza for lunch. And not exercise.

I can read statistics of how people who are overweight have a much higher tendency to various illness in life, like heart problems, high blood pressure, diabetes, and cancer; and I can think, “Yeah, those people need to lose weight, start exercising, and watch what they eat, or they’re headed for trouble!” But “those people” includes me. I am overweight; I am at risk of developing diabetes.

The problem is, I feel healthy. I’m rarely sick; I don’t have high blood pressure; I don’t like to work out but I can. I look in the mirror and I know I’m overweight, but it’s easy to minimize how badly overweight I am. The numbers don’t lie, though. And my numbers show that I’m at an increased risk of all sorts of health problems in the future. When people are put in a higher-risk category on things like life insurance or health insurance because of their weight–because studies show that people at that weight, BMI, or whatever is the “yardstick” are more likely to get sick and die–it’s easy to say that they need to lose weight, and they need to exercise, and they need to bring their bad numbers down and their good numbers up. It’s easy to say that they have problems and they need to get a handle on things. But it’s not them. It’s me.