Blogging about losing weight was good at the first. Then I started blogging too much and not losing enough weight. Too much computer, not enough exercise. And I stopped counting my calories, and basically went back to the way I was eating before, therefore I’m heading back to the weight I was before. Not good!

I wore my yellow dress to church this past Sunday, which was the first time I’ve put it on in months. Since I was breastfeeding the last time I wore it (and am rather buxom to start with), it wouldn’t zip, but it was easy to say that it was due to the extra boobage rather than just the extra fat. Well, my son has weaned, and while I can wear the dress, it was tight. It’s never been tight. (But then, the last time I actually wore it somewhere was before I got pregnant four years ago. Since then, I’ve been pregnant and/or breastfeeding.) That wasn’t a good sign. Other clothes are tight. So I stepped on the scale today, and that was an even worse sign!

Reading Jennifer’s blog about not putting goals too far out was good. People are different — some people get overwhelmed by a goal too big or too far away, while others rise to the challenge. I’m not sure where I am. I liked her idea about “just one pound.” Fifty pounds does seem like an awful lot, especially since I’ve frittered away three months (twelve weeks, twelve pounds), and should have only 38 pounds left, when in reality, I have 47 pounds to go. And probably 35 weeks to do it in, if I’m going to stick to my one-year goal.

I must keep this blog up. To let it go is to admit failure. To keep it quiet is to ignore the problem. To keep writing on it is to face the problem and address the issue. It’s about accountability. And getting it down in black and white. Seeing it as it really is, and not as I pretend it to be. Enough is enough.